For the past three hours, I have been in the mood to write, but for the life of me, I can’t think of a topic. Usually they just arrive and plop themselves down near my laptop. Today – there’s nothing. My mind keeps floating back to topics not fit for blogging. Maybe that is what writer’s block really is – preoccupation with That Which May Not Be Mentioned.
So I am going to use a teacher trick. I’m going to open a dictionary to a random page and take the fifth word. I am going to do that three times. And those three words will determine what my post is about today.
Here we go. First word:
(Oh crap. This is going to be rough.) Second word:
(Should I just give up now?) Third word:
Suddenly, this task has gotten easier. I actually used this last word in Tyrol – don’t ask me how the dinner conversation moved to this theme, but it really did. Maybe it was because my cousin’s fiancé who was in attendance is a policeman. I remember a joke being told about a woman being flashed and then suddenly remembering that she had forgotten to buy shrimp while at the store.
And speaking of seafood (nice transition there, hey?), I just learned of a European vegetable that tastes like oysters: the salsify. It being completely new to me, I googled for images and suddenly was back to the topic of exhibitionists – especially old ones.
And while I am on the subject of cranky old objects that aren’t used any more, remember way back when teachers handed out mimeographed copies in school? The first thing you did was hold it up to your nose and breathe in deeply. I doubt very much that people do that with salsifies. Or exhibitionists, for that matter.
Trek* 
What does it say about me that I want you to write about those things not meant for blogging? Scratch that. Don’t answer. You were very clever in this post!
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Thanks. And despite your order not to answer, it says we’ve made a connection. About those things – they are either somebody else’s too personal or they would break my rule of not saying mean things about other people.
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I like this trick haha. Next time I’m I have a blogging block I’m going to try it out
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I am almost afraid to see what happens when you try this. 🙂
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wiggled yourself out well 🙂
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Tough words, but the writing method looks like fun… I’ll take a stab at it.
I peer down at the checkmarks on my mimeographed grocery list, thinking how lucky I am to have salvaged the old machine when the high school discarded it back in ’97. I can only get ink for the darn thing on Amazon.com nowadays. So, I need salsify for that new recipe from Cook’s Illustrated, sure wish they had illustrated what, exactly, it looks like. I am perusing the produce when I notice an older man wearing his jeans low on the hips–like the teenagers do, but sans boxers and leaving far less to the imagination. Pure exhibitionism, my puritan grandmother would say. He catches me staring and I pretend I wasn’t. I hastily cover my embarrassment by asking if he knows where to find the salsify. “Salsify?” he asks. “Probably over by the tortilla chips.” I sincerely doubt it, but use the opportunity to make a fast getaway, the wheels of my cart burning rubber as I race toward the snack aisle.
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Great job, 42! (Although – I have to say – someone who mimeographs shopping lists must be a very special kind of person.)
You’ve been doing a lot of reading, girl! Thanks for that. I will be reciprocating soon (-just one more family celebration to get through first.)
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