When it rains, it . . .

. . . comes sloshing down in a tempo and force that make your head spin as you run for cover and then realize you are basically on the equivalent of some Iowa cornfield and the next tree is two states over!

Source: http://www.elenisakellar.com/gallery/selected-earlier-works/selected-earlier-works-2/
Source: http://www.elenisakellar.com/gallery/selected-earlier-works/selected-earlier-works-2/

 

Why, oh why does everyone and his uncle suddenly need a translation or proofreading done ( – by yesterday, please, and, if possible, for free?)

I just went through the painful exercise of editing an awful, ugly book and when it was finally over, I sent the manuscript back to the publisher. I swear on a stack of Jane Austen novels that the very second that email was sent off, I heard a “Ding!” and saw a new mail. (“INCOMING!! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!”) It was an inquiry from a company about me translating their advertising brochure – 10 pages of describing various types of wooden floor boards in detail. Now that sounds like a hoot. Did I say “No – I won’t  translate your stupid text”??  NOOOOOO! Of course not!

Today I got to the halfway mark on that and began wondering if there is anything in the world more tedious than floor boards. I don’t think so. Seriously. I challenge, no, I DEFY you all to come up with a topic more mind-numbingly boring. I am starting to miss Compliance Management.  Maybe I will take a break. Check my email . . .

“DING!!”

A friend of a music mentor of my daughter needs her thesis corrected. She is not done with it yet and the due date is in two weeks. Could I correct it for her?  It’s only about 85 pages long – that is, so far. She’s writing about English literature, which is good. But she is also writing about James Joyce which is . . . just . . . horrendously bad. Did I say “No, I’m sorry, but you waited too long to ask me and I am going to be away in London all next week with 12 kids in the rages of puberty and someday you will thank me for teaching you this lesson about procrastinating”? NOOOOOO! Of course not. I said I would see what I can do.

The gods don’t want me to experience a weekend. It’s just that simple.

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5 thoughts on “When it rains, it . . .

  1. You are just plain crazy. I edited a book for a friend as a favor. Never again unless it’s accompanied by lots and lots of money. The writing was awful. At first I made detailed suggestions. Halfway through I was make blanket statements (needs complete rewrite, doesn’t make sense, point not clear, etc.). After I was done she was going to self-publish. Unfortunately she was diagnosed with a terminal illness. The book was scheduled to come out a few months before she died. She didn’t talk about it again so I don’t know if she went through with it. It was a painful process for me. It was a collection of essays so there didn’t need to be continuity. Each 2 to 3 page essay just had to make sense. It was hard for me to give a good friend such a negative edit job. I suggested that she get a second opinion but she didn’t want to pay anyone. Flooring? Yegads! Put the bamboo shoots under my nails.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s nice when someone understands what this work is really like. Clients always assume that rendering their crap German into comprehensible English is easy peasy. But what you went through – well, that is “a whole nother” level. At least I am not emotionally involved in the work I do ( except for the occasional rant about lost weekends!) Editing for friends is completely different – as you experienced.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. 227, I used to agree to do this kind of thing for a few fellow students at the college, but I found that I was making too many “suggestions” (basically rewriting their stories in MY words). I decided that, fo rmy own mental health, I would add a necessary word to my vocabulary–NO. No excuses, no I wish I coulds, just NO. The college has a writing center they can use for free and I recommended they do so. Some were angry with me, but got over it. Some didn’t. Good luck 🙂

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  3. As boring as floorboards may be, what could ever be more boring than rules of golf? Remember that one? I feel for you, at least all this workload will make London seem easy-peasy 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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